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Still Trying to 'forgive' my 'Mother'
Thankyou Brenda Ann,
King David wrote: “He(God) himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:14) God made us from “nothing” and he can recreate us also from nothing. (Genesis 2:7) “God proceeded to form the man out of dust from the ground and to blow into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man came to be a living soul.”
This passage gives me some hope, however my analytical visual mind requires Proof. Where in the Bible does it say that Jesus brought anyone back from the dead who was cremated into ashes as my Father was ?
Unfortunately, my Dad told my Best Friend, who assumed he had Faith because he went to Catholic Church every week. However, he told her that he went out of habit, "Because that's what (he) was 'supposed' to do". It's very sad that I haven'T even had any dreams of my Father being in 'heaven' in the past 2 years of my having been in his hospice room when he passed away.
My UNpredictably Sometimes nice buT NaStY 'Mother' however, told me over the phone that she saw his "shadow float from left to right in front of her 6 months after he died", however he had "no feet, arms or head", the latter which made me 'laugh' at the absurdity of her epileptic possibly schizophrenic brain having hallucinated this 'vision'. She told me, "Don'T Laugh !" and then went on to say how the 'old women in her Ukrainian culture told her mother to put food on the table so that the spirit wouldn't come back."
Thankyou for your comforting words. I Hope that my Faith will be Reborn, as it along with my 'Trust' in 'human' beings was ShAtTeReD when I was 5 years old after my own Mother's RAGE Suddenly Grabbed, Dragged and StRiPpeD me Naked and BEAT me with a PLASTIC STRAP Until I was SCREAMING & BEGGING HER TO STOP upstairs in my bedroom for Accidentally breaking her Cheap ashtray while running around the coffee table in our living room chasing my brother having fun.
She has NEVER 'thought' or 'felt' the 'need' to 'apologize', having BLAMED "HIM !" (most likely her DENIED Alcoholic Wife Abusing Daughter Molesting (?) 'Father' who Died on the same day I was born only 7 years earlier. She was only 14 when he died and she must have shuT Down Emotionally then, which 'explains' why she's So COLD and INsensitive to my Father and me, whom she sees as even a Worse 'FAILURE' after I quit teaching to 'please' her as she's Criticial, Sarcastic, Judgemental and DENIES Ever Saying or Doing ANYTHING !" Wrong !
May GOD Forgive her, for I have a VERY Hard time trying to 'understand' let alone 'accept' her as I now See her. However, she Did the 'best' (?) she could being a Good Mother who cooked & cleaned and made sure our Father who didn't want to PAY for having us Gave her the money so we grew up 'healthy'.
This is the only 'heaven' I can see, but hope it's more than cosmic dust and the endless infinity of a very Lonely Universe TOO Vast to comprehend, even though science and technology have made it much 'easier' to see up 'close'.
'Heaven'
Tags: abuse, blame, denial, heaven, mother
Views: 153
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jo Pennington on
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From dust we are formed and to dust we return (Gen 3:19) ... 1 Corinthians 15:53 (Amplified Bible) 52In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the [sound of the] last trumpet call. For a trumpet will sound, and the dead [in Christ] will be raised imperishable (free and immune from decay), and we shall be changed (transformed). 53For this perishable [part of us] must put on the imperishable [nature], and this mortal [part of us, this nature that is capable of dying] must put on immortality (freedom from death).
i personally believe that since we will have perfect, new bodies once we get into Heaven and if our bodies return to dust anyway - whether or not we cremate our loved ones has no effect on anything. Each religion/denomination has it's own views on the matter, just as they do about suicide, victims who are raped and then murdered. I would rather leave the details up to God. If he could create the world from speaking a single word - and has no limit to what he can do - then how we bury our dead will have no effect on the after life.
I hope that helps you somewhat and gives you comfort.
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Permalink Reply by John B on
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Thankyou for your response and well wishes. Finally after 2 years, I have begun to feel 'better', however a LOSS of a Love One is NEVER easy to 'accept', even though I must in order to continue to 'live'. Thanks to my Best Friend, a Birth Mother whose now 42 year old son doesn'T want to connect with her after her 'family' and Religious & Professional Doctors, Nurses and Social 'worker's Brainwashed & Coerced or 'simply' FORCED MILLIONS of then Young Women to 'give up' their RIGHT to have their First Born STOLEN from them, I am 'surviving'. Her Father also died 3 months before mine, so 'GOD' has 'given' us this to 'help' one another 'accept' the Inevitable that WILL happen for EVERYONE No Matter how 'rich', 'poor', young or old they are. No One Knows For Sure IF there really is a 'GOD' or 'Heaven'... Except Scientists like Stephen Hawking, who doesn'T Believe in a 'GOD' or 'creator' of the universe which is FAR BEYOND most of our ability to 'comprehend' the Infinite. * O http://youtu.be/P-jQUHUF1MU
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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on
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John,
When I think about the question...does God really exist?...I find that I have to compartmentalize the variety of issues that are involved. What I mean by that is this.
1) Some people form their conclusion on what religion has done or taught. How has religion represented God? This is extremely confusing because we now have to isolate each God in our thought process, because there are many Gods. Examples of this...Allah, Jesus, Yahweh (or Jehovah) etc.
Religion has misrepresented their God and have committed great atrocities in his name. History is full issues like that. You even see some of it on this site. "God took my loved one." or "God wanted another angel so he took my loved one" or "Why did God do this to me?" etc, etc.
2) Scientists, some very respected, have decided that there can be no God. As we listen to them, sometimes in awe of their intellect, we are compelled to believe them. Some of them become preachers of their faith. Zealous for what they believe. They lay their proof out on the table and convince us that they have the PROOF. They condescend to the rest of us and claim superiority. (this is my own experience with atheists, it may not be all.)
So which do you believe? Well...none of them...to start with.
I started with one simple thing. What I see with my own eyes. What does it prove? What I see is design!!! I...my body...my senses...my physical being MUST have been designed!!! I just cannot believe that all of the abilities that a human being possesses just happened by chance, or just evolved from nothing at one point in history. To me that takes more blind faith then believing in a greater being that designed all of this. And there is much more to my questioning and reasoning, and concluding than just that. In every day life we see evidence of design over chance, or as some people now like say, "natural selection".
An interesting scripture stimulates my thinking on this.
Romans 1:20 For his invisible [qualities] are clearly seen from the world’s creation onward, because they are perceived by the things made, even his eternal power and Godship, so that they are inexcusable
Don't misunderstand my use of scripture. That is the 3rd compartment.
If you take RELIGION out of the mix, you can look at the Bible without prejudice and see what it really teaches. Religion as most people know it does not teach what is in the Bible, so this is another one of religions misrepresentations.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. But I believe the truth of these things is very attainable and the proof is easy to see. That truth then can comfort us at time of loss.
C. S. Lewis once said
“ If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. ”
I agree, so my efforts are designed to find truth. Why we die, why we live, why we suffer, is this all there is, is there hope, etc.
Thanks for listening, and if there is any way I can help comfort you in your time of grief just let me know.
Dc
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Thanks Dennis C.
As someone once said, "less is More". I'm learning to focus More on Gratitudes and Less on the past and how like everyone else whether they know it or disbelieve it, we're all "powerless over other people, places and things". One Day/Minute at a time. Namaste.
John
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