Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
on April 8th,, my husband, best friend, and soulmate.. died from esophageal cancer!!! he had wanted to die at home with me beside him,, and that is exactly what happened..hospice was coming to our home to help take care of him, as he couldn't get out anymore,, we were married for almost 30 years!!! and to top it off,, exactly 2 weeks after he died,,, our first grandchild,, was born,,,,a granddaughter,,,jim had seen a 3d ultrasound of her and in it she looked just like our daughter when she was newborn!! so he was excited at the idea of her coming....but he just couldn't hang on any longer I guess... I know its been 3 months,, but im going crazy with missing him being here...our friends all helped out the first 4 weeks but now,, they pretty much stay to themselves.. this just makes me sadder and lonlier... I thought I knew what grief was but the death of my spouse has taken something out of me,, I don't think it will ever go away..i hate this so badly,,, and I need my good friends.. why did they just leave me alone like this?
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It has been a year and a half since my mother passed away. I was her caretaker here at our house where she has a room. I still cannot go into her room without breaking down. Today I thought maybe I should get rid of everything including the house and start over. Then I thought no that would make me sad too. My friends have not been around as much either. I guess with our age, I am 51 and been with my spouse for 36 years this August. I think the friends have health issues in their families also? I have not worked in over 2 years so that keeps me home most of the time now. Mother left me as the new family matriarch and there are days I wonder if I can handle it all.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
This is a really nice place to vent.
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