I'm 26. My mother died 3 weeks ago on August, 4th 2014. She died at the age of 42, her birthday was coming up on August 21.She was visiting my disabled brother three hours away from her home & died in a hotel. Past few years we had a difficult relationship. My mom had a rough life. She tried her best raising us, even if she was poor. After her mom died in 96 she started taking a turn. My mom was a lesbian/Bisexual. She was with her partner since 2001 & her partner died this past November. They both raised me. They died almost 9 months apart! Guess they were soul mates. Basically my step mom pushed my mom away because she didn't want her to see her like that. She went back to Houston and rekindled with my father. They were never married. Past few years my mom has been heavily addicted to Xanax and pain pills. The last time I saw her was the beginning of February. I was moving to Florida with my gf and stopped by her to see her. Our first day was great. She was sober. The 2nd night I saw her, she was in the bathroom smoking spice( fake weed) passed out on the floor. I couldn't stand to see her like that. She has kids? why?? So i just left. After a few days after I got to Florida we had a conversation on the phone, we argued and that was the last time I ever spoke to her. My mom was my heart, and I loved her more than I loved myself. I just couldn't see her doing that to her self. I told her when we get our own place in Florida I will send for her. We still haven't got our place yet. The reason I couldn't take her right then is because my gfs father and family is a major pill head & i didn't want her around that. I never told her that, but i'm sure she understands now. My mom had nothing to her name. She ran her whole life. Everything she has is currently at my step moms old house & my step grandma probably won't give it to me. She is not a good person & didn't like us because of her lifestyle. which brings me to my moms family. They haven't spoke or seen her in ten years because she was a lesbian. but, now, they come around. What hurts the most is I found out ( after she died) that my mom has been trying to get ahold of me. She even called & texted me a few hours before she died. thats where i have the regrets. Had I known she was trying to call me I wouldve answered. My gf broke her phone 7 months ago, and we still have yet to get it fixed & thats why i didn't answer. All i know about her death is that she was drinking that night ( she never drinks) & i guess she took pills. My dad was drunk. They went to the hotel & he went to Mcdonalds across the street to get them somethin to eat. He came back she was sitting at the table. He gave her the food & he went to sleep. Next morning he found her dead on the floor. With foam out of her nose & mouth and if i remember correctly blood. According to the detective- nothing was found out of the ordinary on the autopsy so its pending tox reports.. By law I am the next of kin, since I am the oldest, and she was never married. Being 4 states away from her & being poor like she was. I came as fast as I could. Her family came down ( who was never around). They tried to convince me to turn over my rights. So they can take control over it & pay for everything. I was in town the next day. They wanted me to contact the cremation/funeral place to see if we can view her as they were leaving the next day. I called and the director said they couldn't do it till Monday. They got mad & said they are not paying a dime & it was up to me to pay everything. Are you kidding me? it was always up to me. thats MY mom. not yours. My mom was living off of social security. & she had 450 to her name. My father gave the money to my uncle to hold because he didn't want it. Found out after after that they told me they sent it back to SSI, which was a lie, i found out it was because they didn't want me to have it. Excuse me? She would want it to go to her KIDS. Also found out that the reason they wanted me to sign over my rights was so because they could pay for it & would not allow me to be there. Anyways I paid for it. All I could afford was a direct cremation, but we got to see her tho. Only 6 people saw her. & the part of the family that was trying to take control never got to see her i think my mom did that on purpose lol. I couldn't afford to transport her to her home so we did it in a town she never even lived in. Regardless I know shes proud of me. All i have left of her is a small suit case of her belonging. Hardly any pictures. everything is at her old house. which i probably never will get :(. She has came to my brother & my dad in their dreams. But, why hasn't she came to me? maybe it's because i don't remember my dreams? She does physical stuff tho. For instance. On aug 4th 30 mins before I got the call that my mom died. Our fire exit alarm door was open and our alarm was loud & going off. I passed the door 1 min prior. I watched the camera and nobody was around there. Maybe she was giving me a warning because i got the call 30 mins later. had stuff here & there going on with me as well. Today I was in the backroom and the door shut. wtf. I know she is with me. always. i also spoke to a psychic medium & it was freaky. everything was true.