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Permalink Reply by Trev on June 14, 2012 at 10:51pm

I am gonna have to be a blunt here, I am sure at least one of your parents was the same.

Your sisters choices are her own and her chosen burden is not yours to carry, it is sad that she has chosen a less than ideal life and I am sure her reasons are valid to her.

However my dear, you have 2 (soon to be 3) innocents that need you and only you, they depend on you for everything. There are many services and support groups open to your sister, she probably won't choose to use them until she is desperate or locked up, thus is the lot of a heroin addict. What you must do is to minimize the impact of her current addiction on you and your kids. I am not saying that this is easy, but no-one forced her into the situation she is in now and only she can get herself out of it.

All your energy belongs to the little ones right now and whatever is left is for you and you alone.

For all those who are looking to you to do something, put it right back at them, why aren't they doing something?

It sounds to me like you need to change your peer group, if they are the ones putting pressure on you then they are little more than parasites feeding off your energy, you don't need them, you are better than that and don't you forget it.

You will have read already that the pain of your loss does become less frequent and less dominating in time and like most people, it seems impossible to you when you feel so down. Nevertheless, it does, it ceases to be the all consuming feeling as normal, trivial, daily life interrupts your grief and takes up more and more of your time. You have two and soon you will have three bundles of joy that will make sure this happens.

Dedicate yourself to them, it's what your parents would have wanted too, if you doubt that, then ask them, just look at that empty chair or that picture and ask them what they would want you to do, you will know the answer before you finish the question. It isn't anything supernatural, it's just that you all loved each other so that their life, their sayings and their outlook are a huge part of what you are too.

Make them proud, live the life that they cannot, be strong and know that you are never alone. I know you can do it.

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