have you ever been in love with someone that you wanted to spend a life time with and broken up for a dumb reason? over an argument or something of that nature? maybe you called him/her names for the longest time and convinced yourself that it was a waste of time and moved on to something better... and in a flash this person is gone. and you cant take back all the wrong you did or apologize for hurt feelings... tomorrow will be 6 months since the passing of my ex boyfriend. he was hit while riding his dirt bike. some days coping are much harder than others. i feel a series of emotions and the thought of him overwhelms me. i know he's forgiven me, because thats what kind of person he was, but i cant seem to say sorry enough. i feel like there was something i couldve done to stop this. even though it was about 7 months since we had broke up, i feel like if i had accepted the apology from him we would still be together today, and he wouldnt have gotten killed. some days i cant hardly function without stressing about it. and my heart races and chest hurts. ive let myself go. my anger and emotions get the best of me...is there anybody with advice on what i should do to help cope with all of this?

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Hi, Alyson

I lost my husband on that April 28th, too. It will too, be 6 months for me toomorow. I guess, all that I can say is that the "what if's" just consume our minds so much and unfortunately we no longer have control of those events, since they are in the "past". And we cant change the past or combine past with present. It hurts so much in trying to make it day by day. If he was that kind of person to have forgotten, then you should take those positive thoughts and hold on to those, as hard as it might sound. I am pretty sure, if you would just known what was going to happen, you would have been there, but how nice would that be, for all of us to know what is ahead of us!

 

Take Care, and feel free to write to me.

 

Amanda

im sorry for your loss as well. i guess all that can be done is to hold on to memories and try to forget all the rough times. and yes, it would be amazing if we knew ahead of time!

thank you. and you can write to me anytime as well.

Hi Alyson, my situation is similar to yours in that my boyfreind and i parted, but didn't want too, its complicated but we were meant to be together but couldn't for various reasons, he died two years after we stopped contact but i was still waiting for him to phone me six years later. I had searched and searched th einternet until one day i found an online memorial tribute to him and just could not beleive that he had died. I don't know why i let him go, i never wanted any other man he was the love of my life, i am so angry at myself for not commiting to him. Not sure i have any advice but i have found a really good physcotherapist to help deal with all th eemotions has helped to understand my feelings better. Its hard when it is an ex that has died as no one acknowledges your loss and it is hard to grieve, for a long time i felt all the pain but thought i wasn't allowed to grieve which mad ethings worse. Sending you lots of love. Babs

So sorry for your loss Alyson. Same thing happened to me. My ex passed away on Aug 24, few days before my birthday. She had a stroke and never recovered from it. I've known her since I was 17. It's been two months but still feels like yesterday. I have been getting signs from her and feel her presence everyday which brings me comfort. I've learned the more you suppress your feelings, the more it will hurt later so allow yourself to grieve, cry.. It's a process we all must go through... Nothing else can heal the pain but time... Take care of yourself.

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