My husband has been gone 5 months

I am having such tough day today. It will be 5 months on the 1st that he died. I miss him so much. I just want him to walk in the door and give me a hug and say everything is going to be ok. I cried before I went to bed and I have not stopped crying this morning. Thank goodness I have a grief share meeting tonight. This is the hardest thing in my life that I have ever gone through.

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Permalink Reply by Annette Dominguez on June 5, 2011 at 8:31pm
Today was a horrible day.I have been crying almost all day. I thought I was doing ok then BAM here comes the tears and the brokeness all over again. I know every one grieves differently and in their own time. I have to cut myself some slack but I am tired of being sad all the time and now the anxiousness is coming on strong. The devil knows the right buttons to push to make me anxious and doubt myself. I cry out to God to comfort me and fill the giant hole in my heart. I just don't know how anyone can go through it. It hurts so much.
Permalink Reply by anna l. on August 2, 2011 at 12:29am

I am sorry to hear of your loss.  I understand what you are going through. I lost my husband of 34 years to metastasized melanoma on July 1st 2011, one month today.  I happened so fast Im just now beginning to come out of shock and realizing what I have lost.  My kids are grown and moved away.  The house is so empty and my life so lonely I dont know how I am ever supposed to do this. My husband was diagnosed the end of April and gone just 2 months later.  This is for darn sure the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I have faced losses before, my mom in 1984, a favorite nephew in 1990, a son in 2010.  The difference is now I dont have my husband to just hold me and tell me it is going to be ok.  I go to bed alone hurting, and wake up alone and hurting more.  I walk past the window and see his truck parked in the driveway and instantly think, Tom is home, only to immediately realize he is never coming home. 

 

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It was not supposed to be like this

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