Lost My World

Lost the Love of my life.  Went in the hospital with what seemed to be a bad cold... was getting better.. looked like she should get out... got a headache ...everything went bad. lost her 2 weeks later. Feel like I could have and should have stopped it. Could have tried different medicine... should have called for the doctor sooner. should have made her go to the doctor sooner. I got reactive instead of proactive. Feel like I froze. Best person on earth and I couldn't get it right. Like it was our last chance to be happy.. mine and hers.. and I didn't protect her. didn't take care of her. She didn't deserve that. She went through so much. She's supposed to be here. She's supposed to be okay. This wasn't supposed to happen. She's supposed to be okay. She was getting better. How does someone so good and so sweet go through so much. How does this happen. This wasn't supposed to happen.

People keep telling me talk to someone... but they're no help. They don't care. They don't understand. They say the do but they don't.
Counselors seem hit or miss at best even in early conversations.
Wonder... no.. I know some of them are just taking money. Try to tell me
to learn to move on. Move on from what to where? How is that possible? It's not.

Views: 130

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michael on August 23, 2010 at 5:02pm
Birthday was not too long ago. I'd say its been rough but no words can express how I feel. I'm losing my mind. Sweetest most beautiful person in the world and I couldn't or didn't protect her. I don't understand how I could fail her like this. Why isn't she okay? Why couldn't I stop it? Im' such an idiot. They tell me how her life was better with me.. but how could that be. I don't always see it. She had more time. I know she had more time. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's all my fault.... I don't understand how this could happen to someone like her. We let her down. We all let her down...... I wasnt supposed to let her down

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Welcome Them!
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Welcome Them!
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Welcome Them!
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
1 Comment

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service