I lost my brother October 3rd, 2015. He was only 18. He was involved in a motor vehicle collision with two friends. They had been drinking and lost control of the vehicle. He was ejected (none wore a seatbelt) and was the only one not to make it. Im finding the fourth month hurts more than the first few did.. maybe because the shock is wearing off. It also seems like people expect me to have been back on my feet by now, but I don't even feel close to that. We were actually step siblings raised together since I was 5. People have actually said they didn't expect me to be upset because of the lack of blood relation... and yet I see him and my step sister no different than my blood sister. It is so frustrating to try and make people understand that just because we weren't related by blood, doesn't mean I don't care as much as if it was my sister. Yesterday was a really rough day for me. They've remanded the case in court twice now, something I feel isn't helping me move forward positively. 

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I don't know why people expect grieving people to be "back on their feet" after such a short time. My husband died three years ago, and I feel exactly the same as I felt then, only with less shock.  It will never get better for me.  I hope it does get better for you, but no one should expect that to be the case only 4 months after the death of your brother -- and he IS your brother, and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. It's love that makes family, not blood.

 

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