Just doesn't seem real

I have dealt with the loss before.  My grandparents when I was younger.  Then a couple years ago I lost my mother-in-law, nephew and best Friend.  In November a friend's child committed suicide at the age of 16.  But the one I am having the hardest time is my sister.  We lost her Dec 26.  She was at my house Dec 23 and had a stroke.  I was the one in charge of talking with doctors and nurses as her husband and my parents were having a difficult time.  I keep second guessing myself as to maybe there was something I could have done, maybe we should have pulled from ventilator sooner.  I planned her service and everything.  I just don't understand why it doesn't seem real.  I have cried but for the most part I feel numb.  I feel like something is wrong with me.  

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 18, 2016 at 4:47pm

iv had multi loss sinse 2012 i loss my granmorth wen iw  wen iw z a kid but iwz a tean it didnt sink in i noted till my dad died thn loss i had in past did sink in 

thn i ask selfis q we all ask why me why did it happrn 2 me

i wz told i wz selfsh fr askin it

sorry fr yore loss 2 i fogot 2 say it

Permalink Reply by bluebird on January 18, 2016 at 10:27pm

My husband died over 3 years ago, and it still isn't real for me.  This "life" is false, it is a nightmare. It is not our life, it is some alternate hell.

It is not uncommon to feel numb and as though it isn't real, especially as it hasn't been very long since your sister died -- you are still in shock, and may be for quite a while yet.  There is nothing wrong with you; that is what grief and shock do to a person. I am sorry for your loss, and I'm sure you made the decisions you felt were best for your sister.

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on January 22, 2016 at 6:33am
Marci,

I am so sorry for your losses. Death is really an enemy. Because of that...it just leaves us scarred and torn. A wound that never really heals. Even with the passage of time the result of death lingers...we have lost a loved one!!!

I have found for myself that the only way to fight back against this reality is to find something to hope for in the future. I find that hope in the Bible. I know that the Bible doesn't work for everyone. Also, the Bible is NOT the same as religion. But for me it promises a time when we will be reunited with our loved ones. That's something that I can look forward to.
Permalink Reply by Sue Sedia on January 29, 2016 at 7:14pm

My Mom just dîed and I feel this way at times. I have häd several losses and never felt this way either. I don't understand but they say everything is normal. I guess in this case your pain is holding back for whatever reason, it's just the way it îs right now. I'm trying to accept that myself.

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