I'm having a difficult moment

This whole month has been difficult for me being that it is the one year mark on the 31st.  I just don't care about anything. (tears)  Just last month I was motivated to return to school and today I don't care.  He was my best friend, my lover, my husband my soul mate.  I will always love him.  I've never loved or been loved that way before.  I miss him so much it hurts my heart.  My heart is broken into a million pieces.  It is still so hard to believe that he is gone.

I've been having flashbacks of the night that I was told and I am having flashbacks of the viewing.  It doesn't seem real.  I am strong, I can do this and get through this month but I am so tired of crying..  I feel this huge empty void within me.  How am I going to live without him?  I must find something to live for.  I have my education but even that I don't care about right now.

This is just a wave I guess.  Thank you all for listening.

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Permalink Reply by Annette Dominguez on June 5, 2011 at 8:37pm

I understand exactly how you feel because I feel the same way. I cried ALL day today. I don't know how to go on either. I still want him to walk in the door and give me a hug like he used to when he got home from work. I have to make it through another month and my dad will be here to live with me. If you would like to talk with me email me at ann_etted@yahoo.com and I will send you my number. It sounds like we are going through the same grief stuff and I think it will help us both to be able to talk with someone and cry on each other's shoulder.

Permalink Reply by Deborah Dodds on June 6, 2011 at 12:32am
I tied to e-mail you and I don't know what happened  or if it went through. you can e-mail me at deborahdodds@verizon.net I would love to talk. 

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