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Husband died of overdose, I didn't know he was addicted :-(
lost my ex husband, soon to be remarried, and we were always married in the Catholic Church anyway I never got annulled in my heart I was always married to him, he died suddenly on January 29 of an apparent overdose. I didn't even know he was addicted
I miss him horribly, it's bad enough I got a call of a sudden death, but the circumstances surrounding it are unbearable. To find out that the person that I love was living a secret life as a drug addict is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I've lost my mom in early age my grandpa four months later, my grandma at age 12 my best friend in 2007 my dad in 2004 and I've been through 13 years of an illness with my sister off and on that has been painful but this tops it all. The grief is almost unbearable. All of the questions that go with the loss, and reading through his emails only to find out things that I didn't know. Not to mention the sad struggle within himself that I saw, through his writings and all else. I wish I knew what to do to move through this. I'm going to a grief counselor on Thursday and have been talking to my priest. but it pains me to know how my loved one suffered with this horrible addiction. I don't even have the autopsy results yet. Won't come back for another four weeks. He suddenly passed on January 29 as I was frolicking around with my family having fun ....he was supposed to come over but never made it. He actually called me on the way to where he was going to do the drugs unbeknownst to me ...... when the phone call came I thought it was him and I was so excited to tell him how much fun I was having in that I couldn't wait to see him but it was his mother telling me the bad news. I am devastated
I miss him horribly, it's bad enough I got a call of a sudden death, but the circumstances surrounding it are unbearable. To find out that the person that I love was living a secret life as a drug addict is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I've lost my mom in early age my grandpa four months later, my grandma at age 12 my best friend in 2007 my dad in 2004 and I've been through 13 years of an illness with my sister off and on that has been painful but this tops it all. The grief is almost unbearable. All of the questions that go with the loss, and reading through his emails only to find out things that I didn't know. Not to mention the sad struggle within himself that I saw, through his writings and all else. I wish I knew what to do to move through this. I'm going to a grief counselor on Thursday and have been talking to my priest. but it pains me to know how my loved one suffered with this horrible addiction. I don't even have the autopsy results yet. Won't come back for another four weeks. He suddenly passed on January 29 as I was frolicking around with my family having fun ....he was supposed to come over but never made it. He actually called me on the way to where he was going to do the drugs unbeknownst to me ...... when the phone call came I thought it was him and I was so excited to tell him how much fun I was having in that I couldn't wait to see him but it was his mother telling me the bad news. I am devastated
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lindsay on
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I'm very sorry for your loss.
I went through something similar. I was dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years and he broke up with me for his ex. I was very hurt. I never spoke to him afterward because I was humiliated. One week later his friend called me to tell me my ex, of one week, had died. It was an accidental overdose and he died in his sleep after being out drinking and then taking the drugs. This was 13 months ago and the pain still overwhelms me at times.
Try to focus on surviving, one hour at a time. It is going to be hard for a while. I know what it is like to question yourself, wondering if there was something you could have done, seen any signs that he was struggling. You're in the thick of it right now. Be gentle on yourself. Contrary to what others may suggest, I do believe it is healthy to look back and try to look for the clues of the addiction or the issues he was struggling with. I don't suggest you do this right away and I do suggest you do this with the help of a counselor or therapist.
Hugs oooxo
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Thank you for your empathy. It is one hour at a time is in it. There were things in the past but didn't quite make sense. But I believe the story thinking that he was getting it together. We obviously had her ups and downs which is why we divorced and he had to sew his oats I guess but....we got back together twice and I kicked him out both times. He did come home with the crack pipe the first time and gave me a story on how it was some other persons but left it in his car because he was investigating the homeless lifestyle in Cas he ever end up homeless....my first mistake was in believing that it was not his. Looking through his emails it appears he has been hooked since that time. He turned his life over to God supposedly which I do believe that happened because all of his writings indicate that but they also indicate his struggle. his mom told me long ago he was diagnosed with bipolar long ago which was called manic-depressive back again. It's a long story one it doesn't matter To u I suppose....but I think you can relate a little bit, and that you lost your boyfriend to someone else, Then drugs....I lost mine to drugs, and then finding out that he had a knife I didn't know about. I am seeing a counselor and Thursday but this is truly the most devastating thing I've ever been through and it's unbearable and sometimes I wish I would just die in my sleep .... i'm sorry for your pain and what you went through as well and the fact that we can never talk to them again is devastating. I don't know what else to say this is a cruel world
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