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How to grieve without your soul leaving you

My boyfriend was killed march 13,2022 he was killed 16 minutes after I left his house to go to my house to grab clothes for me and him to wash… it’s crazy how life works for some reason something in me didn’t get to make it back to him and something made me go to work that next day get off work and go to his job then his house to look for him for me to hear the sad words that no one in life would ever want to hear. You know how it feels to be last one he hugs and kisses and is intimate with as well as say I love you too that is a different kind of feeling for him to say his last good bye but not knowing it was. I walk around everyday working and all just to feel his spirit on me every where I go and at first I thought I was coming down with something but to find out that it is him trying to tell me he still here for me and that he loves me and is my guardian angel it feels weird. I was told that I’m so sensitive to his energy that sometimes he can’t around me but am I wrong for saying I don’t care I still want to feel him no matter how sick it makes me how do you properly grieve feeling this way that is a question I want to be answered.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Sodoma on June 16, 2022 at 11:44pm

Hi Tiffany, wow what a story. So sorry to hear of your loss. I don't know that I have any answers for you, but I have an observation of my own.

I lost my daughter to cancer about five years ago. While my wife is the one who is more inclined to say she feels our daughter in situations than me, I can say that there are moments when I do feel a yearning or desire to "feel" her near again. And it kind of feels like it's something that's attainable. My wife has these yearnings, too, and she is much better at explaining how she literally feels our daughter in the room with her at times. While I never feel that, I would never want to disregard my wife's experience.

From my observation, the yearning, the drive, the pull to feel someone who has passed away is near, I think, is very real. Some of us (perhaps you, too) are able to go a little further than just thinking about the feeling and they actually get the sense that another being is there or is talking to them. Sounds special to me. Not crazy at all.

Again, no big answers here, just an observation. I hope it helps. All the best to you. Brian