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Permalink Reply by Becky on December 10, 2011 at 5:55pm

He's really really good with my kids. He doesn't have any of his own and said he never wanted any, that he always wanted to adopt because he doesn't have "the patience for the 0 to 4 stage." He's always making plans that include my kids on the weekends I have them and is just great with them.

On the ex front, thank you. It WAS really hard. I was a housewife for 5 years, used to just being at home with the kids constantly. When I left him, my mom and I sat down, made a plan, and she kept the kids while I worked. It was a 2.5 hour commute each way, I'd never held a true 9-5 and it was brutal on both of us. We kept going through it.

Now that she's gone, I feel like I've lost the last bit of stability in my life and this happens...

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Permalink Reply by Melissa Broome on December 11, 2011 at 5:46am

Becky,

I too worry about things like this happening and now not having my mother. She's been gone 8 months.. My mom and I were very close. I know this prob isn't the best time to get pregnant. But I have always felt it was meant to be. You are being sent this child for a reason. What it may be we don't know yet. My youngest was a surprise. My husband had just gotten laid of we had just lost my husbands grandfather. wasn't the best timing. But my little boy is so worth it he just turned 2 today..he is the sweetest without him and my other children I dunno know where I would be. Trying to make it without my mom. 2 weeks after he was born my grandfather died suddenly. No one knows why we are dealt the cards we are. But we are. I hope thing's work out for you. take care and hugs to you!

Melissa

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Permalink Reply by Becky on December 12, 2011 at 5:43pm

Thanks, Melissa. I'm trying to look at it that way. Oddly, last year, right before my grandmother died, one of my best friends got pregnant (she ended up terminating because it was a very bad situation). When my mother found out about the pregnancy, all she kept saying is "Your grandmother is leaving this world so this baby can come in." Mom was quite religious, but also had a deep sense of a kind of cosmic balance. I can't help but think that balance is what precipitated all of this. Obviously, I'd rather I wasn't pregnant and my mother was still with me, but at least having some kind of sense makes it a bit more bearable.

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses in such a short period of time. It's so hard when it's one right after another, but I'm glad to hear you have a son to take comfort in. It does all work out, it seems, whether we think it will or not.

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Permalink Reply by Becky on December 12, 2011 at 5:40pm

I did tell my boyfriend. He went from accepting to happy to freaking out like a mad man. I think it's because he has no children. It's been so long since having a baby was a novelty that I just can't empathize with his reaction. I spoke to him a little bit ago and he seems to be back to accepting, though, possibly even attempting to be happy.

My youngest turned 2 in June. My oldest is 9. Obviously, I am hyper-fertile. I found out a few things about the pill I was on (after the fact of course) that would kept me from taking it had I known up-front.

He is quite wonderful with my kids. My mom always commented on that. She was quite fond of him because, in a lot of ways, he's like her father.

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Permalink Reply by Becky on December 14, 2011 at 4:46pm

I just wanted to share a few turns of events that really have me a little mystified. Perhaps I'm being overstuperstitious...but...

As I said before, when my friend was pregnant, my mother said grandma was leaving the world to make room for that baby. That's the biggest thing weighing on my mind.

I had made a joking deal with my mom that, if I had another boy, I'd name him after her father - Edmund. My boyfriend's father's name is Eddie.

A friend asked if it was a girl, would I name her after my mother. I said no, but maybe I'd used her middle name - Patricia. Then it clicked that my boyfriend's middle name is Patrick.

Does this strike anyone else as so very strange? I know that coincidences are what we make of them, but still...

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Permalink Reply by nadia on December 14, 2011 at 9:48pm

Dear Becky

I feel this is a sign.... I am in same situation - my wonderful sister my soulmate left us on 21/05/11,,, I have now a baby due in april just a day before my sisiter's birthday.. a baby girl... I feel this is sign I am 39 so to have a baby so late is a sign.... I am happy adn so sad I cannot share this with her... A veyr difficult pregnancy as I am sad most of time but now wish I abbu that looks like just like her... nadia x 

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