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Holiday planning time....
My hubby wants to go visit my father for Thanksgiving, but my dad has Parkinson's and well I just can't deal with that just yet. Though I do talk on the phone with him I can't see his physical weakness because I had to take care of my mother before she died. Two days after my birthday (2 weeks after mom passed away) we find out dad had Parkinson's. It was like a double whammy. Two of four sisters didn't come to the funeral, neither did my father. My half brothers and stepbrothers, stepmother (complicated story) and stepfather (married to stepmother) were all there as well as oldest sister and her kids. but two sisters not being there made it so much worse. My mother used to smooth the relationship with us but with her not here anymore I feel I have lost one sister and another is losing herself in alcohol and men. I don't have the strength to fight with them and I hope one day they find their way, but it feels like such a huge hill of loss. My steps want me with them, nieces want me with them, hubby's family want me with them. I always went to see my mom during Thanksgiving. I feel like just hiding under a blanket.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Daisy Quinones on
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hiding under a blanket.....thats exactly how I feel about Thanksgiving. It will be the first one without my father.
Im suffering from depresion and just went to doctor last week. (finally!!) She prescribed some pills wich might or might not be helping. Guess is too early to tell. My mom went to visit my sister in VA, so I guess that's were she'll spend the holiday. The problem....my brother lives nearby so I expect they will all be together. I cant see him yet.
Still angry at how he treated my father....I should say how he ignored him. Cant forget my dad's phone calls to me asking if I heard from my brother. I cant forgive him because our father died which means there is no way he can ever make up and mend his way. It's too late, our father is gone. Way too late.
Guess I will go to Atlantic City with my husband.....that way I wont have to remember it's a holiday....
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Permalink Reply by Tania Taylor on
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My daughter asked me today what we were doing for thanksgiving... It was so hard not to just break down and cry. I told her that her and dad might go to his parents but that I will most likely stay home. I told her I just want to avoid and conquer. This is my latest saying since avoidance is all I can do. My dad just returned from an overseas trip and asked if we were going to visit him in Catalina. I finally told him no I couldn't make it. He was sad, but I hope he understands. My steps also just called and asked if I was coming since we always headed to Hawaii for Thanksgiving. It was like a reunion of sorts. There are 11 kids in all with the steps, halfs and full siblings. I just can't handle going back to stay at my sister's yet since that was where mom died. The other families rooms are already full up with everyone coming to town. I am so hating this start to the holiday season.
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Permalink Reply by Katherine Ellis on
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All of you are right. When the holidays come I too want them just to go away. One thing I can share with experience is that as time goes by the pain willl soften a bit. Oh you still will hate the holidays, how can we not, our loved ones aren't here with us. I always notice the empty chair that was our daughters. Soon the New Year will be behind us and we can all try to get back to being normal (but what is normal anymore).
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Permalink Reply by janey sumner on
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my mom and i are having a hard time with the holidays coming up we are taking dinner to a friends house because she just moved and doesnt know were everything is so we are taking food to them but it wont be the same with out grandma there she has gone with us to this family for the past 2 years and i am really going to miss her this year
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