"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Heavy Heart
I just joined this group. I needed something.... I feel totally sad and lonely. I have no one to talk to about how much I miss my Father. I lost him to the terriable diesease of cancer. All I can think about is how he suffered. I can't get to the other wonderful 30 years we spent together before that. If its hard to tell, I am a true bonafide daddy's girl. I miss him so much. Tonight the sadness just seems overwhelming. No one in my family talks about it. I've been through the counseling stage, guess I need to go back. I'm not sure what I hope to gather from joining this group, all I know is that I need someone to talk to that undestands. My brother drinks a lot since his death. I would be so mad with him cause I didnt understand why he was doing that. I just realized tonight that he does that to cover up the pain. I try to cover mine with all the drugs the doctor has prescribed for me. I just realized its basically the same thing. Whether day or night, when my heart starts feeling to heavy or that movie reel of his last days starts to play, I pop a pill and pray that it kicks in soon so that I don't cry myself into hysteria. I have to do something about that but its the truth. Is there anyone out there that understands???
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jacob Michael scott McLeod-Steinmetz on
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Dear Stephanie
I'm so sorry for your loss ..I haven't lost a father I have lost my mother ...but the greatest loss of all is my youngest son Jacob to AML ( Leukaemia) so I understand how much your Father suffered ...
there will come a day when you remember him when he was happy and healthy and not when he was sick or dying ...then you will be able to smile and remember your Father with a lighter heart
May he fly high in heaven Happy healthy and pain free sending love to surround you always
with Love Jacob's mum www.caringbridge.org/me/jacob
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Permalink Reply by Katie Grace on
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I lost my mother and the pain inside runs to the bone...I pray you find comfort in all that your are experiencing. It sounds like you already made two positive decisions in dealing with it: counseling and journaling...When my mother died, I went to my sister and told her that I was having a difficult time and she didn't even acknowledge what I was saying, just pretended like she didn't hear me. Then I tried opening up to my brother and got the same avoidance. It felt like there was a huge elephant in the room no one was talking about and it was driving me insane. They dealt with their emotions by keeping busy and developing a "to do" list so they didn't have to deal with the pain. Try not to take it personally because that was the one mistake I made myself. I felt that my family wasn't supportive at first, what I didn't realize is that they literally didn't know how to support me or deal with the emotions I was bringing up because if they did that meant they would have to deal with their own and they weren't ready to go there yet. My support system mainly comes from my friends, God, and sometimes includes my famiy...I have just come to the realization that some people aren't at the point where they can deal with another person's pain on top of their own...I hope you find the support you are looking for whether it be here, in church, in a counseling office, a grief group, journaling, poetry/art, etc. I think we all just have to find a healthy outlet that fits with our personality and where we are at emotionally....I wish you the best:)
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Permalink Reply by healing07 on
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Hello Stephanie, I m sorry about your father and I understand your feelings. Some peoples have different ways to cope their grief. You miss him because you loved him very much.
You should go to grief counseling community because its the best place to deal with your grief. You are in my thoughts and I hope everything will be fine. My prayers always with you.
May God bless you.
((((((((((((((HUGS FOR YOU))))))))))))))
condolences
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on
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Thank you very much for your kind words of encougement. It is truly appreciated!
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Permalink Reply by melissa on
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i lost my dad on july 12 to hepatitis c. i know the pain a terminal illness inflicts on a person, especially in the end stages. i also know that when a person tells you, "he's no longer in pain", it's not helpful, it doesnt heal your hurt or make you feel any better.
i know that you dad, like mine, was tired. they stayed on this earth for a long time, suffering conditions we cannot begin to imagine. they would have stayed forever to be with us if they could have, despite the suffering. but eventually that choice is taken away, by his own body or by a higher power i do not know. But somewhere, someone decided for him that it was time to end the hurt and say goodbye. He was ready, had been for longer than you know. Now you have to let him go so he, and you, can truly be free.
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Permalink Reply by Kelley on
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I can totally understand. My mother just died 2 weeks after a long battle with Alzheimer's. My family refuses to talk about it, and honestly, when all this was happening they were not around much. I am like you, I came here seeking something, anything to help ease all this. I have never felt so alone.
People tell me time makes it easier. I do know that from experience when I lost my closest friend in high school. But, we all need someone to share with, vent, scream, cry, be totally honest with about how we feel. I suppose sometimes people who have never been through it just don't know what to say or do.
I know my comments are not full of wisdom or anything. But know that someone out there is thinking of you and praying for you. I hope your heart and soul and mind can come to terms with it all. Feel free to email or whatever if you just need a place to vent. I am all ears.
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I completely understand were your coming from I really have no one to talk to either I lost my Dad Aug. 18th 2008 and its kind of strange because I don't think I have delt with it yet. He was sick for a long time with a bad heart and in the end he had a heart attack (his 3rd major) and that finally took him he suffered for so long I guess I was just relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore. I just wanted you know that if you need someone to talk to I am more then willing I'll send you a friend add I am new to this site as well. I hope you check this.
Thanks
Tiffany
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Stephanie
I understand your feelings and I m so sorry for loss of your father. I know you feel alone without your father but he is still with you in your soul. You should go to grief counseling and I hope it will helpful for deal with your grief.
I know loss of loved one is very painful. Cancer is really terrible disease and many persons died with this disease. You can trying to move on. I pray to God for relief your pain. My condolences for you.
condolence message
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Permalink Reply by Tiffany Jacobsen on
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I totally understand where your coming from hun and am going through the same thing...keeping you in my thoughts and hope to maybe talk soon.
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