The grief and the guilt are back now, many times worse than before.

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I've learned that grief is a cycle of waves - coming and going, coming and going. It's not something I'm just going to wake up from, as I wish I would (like waking up from some bad dream), but is a VERY slow process. Acceptance is so hard. Someone once told me that we all "get our turn" of enduring bad things in life and now it's my turn. That helped me a little. I hope some of my words might help you. I know how you feel. 

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