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Permalink Reply by bluebird on January 26, 2014 at 5:25pm

I'm sorry she died, and if it was murder that must be even more difficult for you.  :( 

If the counselors you have been seeing are judgmental because of age and race differences between you and your girlfriend, then you have been seeing bigots who have no right to call themselves "counselors".  Even if they had bigoted feelings, any good counselor would not bring those idiotic feelings into a counseling session.  The counselors you have seen, are they actually even licensed? In any case, I think you need to find a better counselor. Sorry you're having to deal with that on top of everything else.

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Permalink Reply by Avin Bhola on January 27, 2014 at 3:55am

Hi Bluebird, thanks for you reply. 1 counsellor was from 'Lifeline' who have qualified personnel. The other was a Psychic who came highly recommended. Most people are prejudiced unfortunately, hence me turning to this Forum.

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on February 1, 2014 at 9:11pm

It's a shame that you have found most people to be prejudiced, that the people you've gone to for help have been prejudiced -- I have not found that to be the case, in my life. Regardless, no properly trained and licensed counselor would ever allow her/his own prejudices to interfere with counseling.  I am not familiar with "Lifeline", but if all you have found there are prejudiced counselors, I urge you to seek a counselor elsewhere, one who is not a bigot.

As for the psychic, I don't think they need to be licensed, so I suppose you might end up with a bigoted psychic as easily as you might meet a bigoted idiot in any other line of work. Still, I would suggest seeking another psychic as well, one who doesn't labor under the mistaken belief that some people are better than others due to race or gender or sexuality, and who doesn't wrongly believe that an age gap automatically means a relationship is not valid.

The last thing you need at this time is to have to deal with idiots like that, and I'm sorry you have had to do so. I hope you can find some better people to help you.

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Permalink Reply by Avin Bhola on February 4, 2014 at 2:56am

'Lifeline' is a non-profit organisation with trained counsellors. I consulted them 3 days after my girlfriends death and you can imagine how their attitude shattered me! When I talk to my girlfriends friends, they are not very forthcoming. The only connection I have is through her Mum. We both have become very close after Tilly's (late gf) death. The Mum is also very traumatised and has been in hospital on numerous occassions after Tilly's death. That avenue is also closing up now as the Mum has asked me to stop talking about Tilly as it's hurting her.

I visited my hometown over this past weekend. It brought back many memories as I visited my hometown on 9 March last year after my girlfriend pleaded with me to do so as I had an estranged relationship with my family. I left Tilly in another town as she was visiting friends. She was very happy that I visited family and the family and I reconciled. I was very emotional this weekend. Yesterday was a year ago that I had bought a car and Tilly and I went to one of the malls to celebrate. The mall is near where I now currently stay. I was so overwhelmed with emotion and at times I just can't take the pressure.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on February 4, 2014 at 3:29pm

i thrt conselers r so posted 2 hlp not judgee us

thn again lst ward my dad died on nurse wear a bunch of nasty bitchy rassest 

im so sorry fr yore loss avin 

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Permalink Reply by Avin Bhola on February 5, 2014 at 10:35am

Thanks JO B. It's sad that in addition to our loss of our loved ones, we must also endure these uncaring, prejudiced sentiments when we are at our most vulnerable. Sorry about your loss and bad experience.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on February 5, 2014 at 3:44pm

sad thng is avin iv lost mre famly on ths horbel ward i did  sad thng wz i cudnt go vist thm coz i wz so haunted wot hapend lazy nirse bean bitchy rasets 2 nurses it wz getng thr hands dirty 

if a pasitn wz rasest i bet thy wudt treat thm but nurses it mks me feal sic

my surgate uncle died on tht ward his dorter is still tramtised by it l a  lot of us still is 

iwen thy show docmentrys on tv thy never show hell hole wards thy never do

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