Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by bluebird on January 17, 2016 at 1:55pm

My husband died three years ago, and I have not wanted to live since the day he died.  I have not had the multitude of deaths that you have, but my husband's death has destroyed me.  I can't help you find any comfort, because I have not found any myself.

I would beg you, though, not to put your cats to sleep.  They deserve to live their lives. If you can take care of them, fine. If you can't, perhaps consider finding them a new home. But any good vet would refuse to kill healthy animals, so your vet is doing the right thing.  You can always write it into your will that when the cats do eventually die, their ashes should be scattered on your farm with yours and your husband's.

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Permalink Reply by Jackie on February 1, 2016 at 8:51am

Thank you for your message.  I am so sorry for your loss and understand the destruction it leaves in its wake.  My cats give me the comfort that comes from knowing how much Joe loved them and when I leave this world, I want them put down so our family can be together again.  I did that for my friend when she died from breast cancer.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 17, 2016 at 4:17pm

im so sorry 

iv had multi loss 2 sisne 2012 thn 2013 2014 2015 

if u cnt cop e wth yre cats put thm in cat/dog sheltr coz thy wil fnd a lovin hom thy will

i got my cat frm a cat dog sheltr i did 

shes 1 it stops me frm end all she doze

i nead her she neads me 

iv cryed on her fur sisne 2012 sisne my dad aftr ery loss sisne mums dignose of alsmizers iv cryed on my cat i no it onds a bit weid but i hav 

mum gt brest clst yr thn dignozt wth alsmers lst nov or oct i cnt rembr mnths i cnt coz evry thngs a blur my lifess is a blur coz of so mush loss bad news so on

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Permalink Reply by Sue Sedia on January 23, 2016 at 5:24pm

Have you tried to get any help emotionally? Support groups, therapists, Day programs? Maybe having someone who understands and is with you physically can help?

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Permalink Reply by Jon on January 30, 2016 at 5:51am

You must talk to friends or family , write down what you feel. Express your pain, Let it out somehow. This site can help a little.
Your cats can help you through this , they know what we often forget, about the simple pleasures of the now. They will share that with you through the darker times ahead.
Eventually you will function and good moments will happen more often, just hang on on there. Good luck.

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Permalink Reply by Colleen McCann on January 31, 2016 at 7:49pm

Jackie, I am so sorry for what you are going through. You will always have the people here to talk with. I can't imagine how hard it is for you.

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Permalink Reply by Jackie on February 1, 2016 at 8:47am

Colleen,

Thanks so much for your message.  I am numb.  Having a mastectomy on Wednesday.  Have to do something, but hate how barbaric the solution is.  Nothing about this is civilized.

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Permalink Reply by Doris Jane Franklin on February 3, 2016 at 10:31am

I'm sorry for your loss, my husband of 38 years died right in front of me from a heart attack on September 30th. He had a massive heart attack and died almost immediately. I think what bothers me most is we didn't get to say goodbye. Reading your words brings tears to my eyes because even though I am living alone for the first time in my life I do not feel alone. I have never been religious so I didn't have a lot of faith to start with. As with other things in my life when my husband died I put my sadness and grief into words and wrote about them. My husband Craig loved his life and he was happy until the day it ended. I know because he told me a long time ago that if something happened to him I should go on and live my life. He told me not to make our house a memorial with pictures of him all over it and I took his advice to heart. While I usually have a time in the evening that I miss him the most and I have a good cry I'm also trying to make him proud of me. I was in shock for a month after he died, I could not believe he was gone, he was my best friend and we'd looked forward to having a good life after the kids grew up, traveling and enjoying life. All of that was taken when he died. I was angry at first but now I am so thankful I had this sweet man for almost 40 years and that we still were very much in love the morning he died. It seems the whole world is set up in pairs and when you're a widow you sort of disappear into the landscape. I've made some new friends who are widows and divorcee's and we occasionally go out to dinner, I enjoy hearing their advice because they've been alone longer than me. Getting through my first Christmas without Craig was so difficult and I don't think I would have even celebrated Christmas if not for my grandkids. We all grieve for different lengths of time but also in different ways. I'm trying to use this time I was left without Craig to keep his memory alive to his grandchildren because they are really too young to remember him. Please though it is hard do not think of ending your life, I had those thoughts too but there is still life to be lived. My life and your's will never be the same again but it can be worth living.

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