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Permalink Reply by BillT on June 14, 2016 at 2:59pm

I am so sorry that you are having to endure this pain.  I lost the love of my life on January 29, and I too have experienced all that you expressed.  I am at 4 1/2 months.  The only way we can do this is one day, one hour, or one minute at a time.  I will tell you, that the pain and anguish that you feel now will, in time, ease a little.  And then it will all come rushing back in a heartbeat.  I call that a "grief burst".  I am finding that ever so slowly, the grief bursts will get shorter, and hopefully less frequent.  Please know that there are people here on this forum that care for you and pray for you Adrien.  People who know and share your pain.

Love and prayer to you, Adrien.

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Permalink Reply by Adrien Naude on June 15, 2016 at 3:41pm

Thank you very very much for your kind reply. I have known people who have lost their spouses and never never realized the absolute intensity of the pain and the daily flood of emotions that build up in you. one minute laughing within seconds stabbing tearing aching pain and tears unbelievable sorrow and loneliness. BillT I am so very sorry for your loss you are in my prayers I pray that Our Heavenly Father gives you relief from this pain.

Kind Kind regards and prayers to you, BillT

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Permalink Reply by Jr on June 15, 2016 at 3:37am

If it's one thing I couldn't stand to hear, was people telling me time will heal. I hated those words for years. My wife passed away in 2008 at age 35. But in reality, it took me 5 years to understand that yes time heals. But 8 yrs later, my life is still not the same, and I still reminisce and which she was here with me. I'm still hurting.

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Permalink Reply by Adrien Naude on June 15, 2016 at 4:01pm

Thank you very very much for your kind reply. I was told I was focussing to much on my own problem there were others out there with far greater problems than mine. What a sad thing to say people don't always think before they speak and I am very very sorry for your loss and pray for Our Heavenly Fathers comfort for the pain you feel

Kind Kind regards and prayers to you, Jr

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Permalink Reply by Mel Royer on June 15, 2016 at 9:15am

Adrien....My deepest condolences on the loss of your soul mate. I lost mine a year ago on April 29th, 2015. Still the deep, stabbing pain continues. I too spend much of my days in tears and only sleep from sheer fatigue and exhaustion. I awake every morning at 4:3o or so and get up, make coffee, sit for a few minutes and ask God, again, why he did not take me during my sleep. To awaken to this nightmare, day after day, is sheer hell. It is the loneliness of missing her that aches deep into my bones. I fail to believe it will ever subside but I pray to my God, anyway, that I will find peace, somehow, someday and I also believe my departed soulmate watches over me. I believe I will see her again. This is what keeps me from taking my own life and ending this profound misery.  I pray for you, Adrien and all of us here that we will find that peace that passeth all understanding. Take care of yourself. 

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Permalink Reply by Adrien Naude on June 15, 2016 at 5:06pm

Hi Mel. Thank you very very much for your very kind reply. Only very recently I realized that the love of my life was not coming back. No more hugs, no more smiles, no more laughter, no more kisses, no more companionship, no more holding hands, no more loving text messages - left only with photos and loving memories, the flat filled with a deafening silence, an empty seat beside you, a single cup of coffee on the table. Oh Lord what loneliness, what agonizing pain. My only consolation is that Wendy is now free of the pain she endured, the knowledge that because of her steadfast faith in Our Almighty Heavenly Father she is in a much better place now. Mel I am so very very sorry for your loss. I pray that Our Heavenly Father will ease the pain and misery we are feeling brought on by this tragedy in our lives.

Kind kind regards and my prayers to you Mel Royer

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