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Permalink Reply by bluebird on November 3, 2021 at 8:28pm

That's horrible; I'm so sorry.  I agree with your last sentence: "We're all grieving differently because we all loved him differently". Hopefully you, his parents, other family members, his girlfriend, his best friend, and his other friends, can all rely on each other for support.

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Permalink Reply by Kris on November 4, 2021 at 8:00am

It's been hard to support each other because we don't understand the others grief.  My sister, for instance, makes it clear that she's grieving the most because she was his mother.  I tried to explain that what she says is true but it doesn't mean I love him less, just different.  I may only be "the aunt" but, I helped raise Ryan and mold him into the man that he was so it hurts when she says I can't possibly understand her grief.

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on November 9, 2021 at 4:18pm

When people are grieving, especially deeply, it's difficult for them to understand how difficult the loss of the person is to others who loved her/him as well. From what you've said, you probably understand more than anyone else what your sister is feeling, since you were like a second mother to your nephew. I wouldn't recommend arguing or discussing about whose grief is "worse", as that serves no one -- as much as possible, it's good to just turn to each other for comfort.

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