my dad died of complications from hep c. hes been sick for a while but i guess i never really expected him to die. he was a drug user and drank heavily. i was always the one defending him and trying to get him to clean up his act. finally, i made peace with the fact that he was grown and would make his own choices. those choices sped up the progression of his disease and eventually killed him. he slipped into a coma. i watched him struggle to cling to life. i was there when he failed to do so. im in constant pain. i dont know what to do to make this better.

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venting (journaling) helps. Talking to others. Posting pics. This is a safe place to vent. (((((hugs)))))
I understand your feelings and I m so sorry for your loss. I know its difficult to deal with this grief. Grow up from this terrible grief is very tough. Fathers are important for children and you can't forget him.
Death is a painful tragedy and when we lost our loved one its so hard time for us. I lost my uncle 3years ago and I really miss him. You should trying to deal with your grief with grief counseling.

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I as well lost my dad to an illness. He was suffering from lung cancer for the longest time. He was in and out of hospitals, we were told so many times that he wasnt going to make it. He himself had an addiction to his bussiness, never had time for his kids or maybe was too guilty ....my pastor said he thought he had failed as a father.....I also watched him struggle through a coma and fight for his life...i sat next to him everyday...and I was the one that was there to watch him take his last breath....im not sure how ill ever get over it...it was only a month ago..but it's so hard...im in constant pain as well...and shutting out the world...not seeming like im myself at all...right now im trying to read this book called Wasnt ready to say Goodbye...it is somewhat helpful...I may not know how to help you...but since we both are new to this and are going through the same thing..maybe we can try and help support eachother.....its hard to talk to people when they dont understand...ill keep you in my prayers hun and hope to hear from you soon.

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It was not supposed to be like this

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