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Permalink Reply by bluebird on May 1, 2014 at 9:22pm

It sounds to me as though you are doing everything right. You are there for him, but you aren't pushing him. You are showing him how much you love him, but allowing him to deal with this his own way and in his own time. Not saying "I know how you feel" is good -- at least, I hate it when people say that to me, and most other people I've met (in real life or online) who have had a close loved one die have also mentioned that they hate it when people say that.

Make sure you do take care of yourself as well, and your family and pets (your friends will understand, I'm sure).

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Permalink Reply by Swallowtail on May 5, 2014 at 7:15pm

Hi Nicole,

You seem to be a very good support to him.  I can't imagine losing my own father because we are very close and it would be devastating.  My best advice, aside from what you are already doing, is to be patient.  Major losses like this take time to work through.  Grief is a personal thing, and there is little you or anyone can do aside from just being there for him and showing your support.  There isn't much advice anyone can give to a person going through something like this.  In fact, advice to a grieving person can backfire, so just be mindful of that.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen if he needs to talk.  Hopefully you will be able to find a place soon so that you can be under the same roof and not have the extra strain of all that driving.  Is he ready to move at a time like this?  The process of moving can be so stressful.  If you can muster up the funds, I would recommend hiring professional movers that literally come and pack everything into the boxes for him.  I know someone who did that with his last move and he said it made a world of difference.

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