last year i lost my grandma and then my grandpa 3 months to the day later. they'd been married 65 years and were like parents to me. They raised me along with my parents as my parents were very young when they had me. I lost my aunt a few weeks after grandpa. I feel like an era ended. The entire top of my tree was cut off and is now lost. My mother feels like an orphan and i feel like a wall of glass shattered down on me. Only a few weeks before grandma died I lost a baby. On top of it I nearly lost my father to surgical complications. I have since lost all faith dispite of being a strong catholic for all my life. I dont believe in religion...its become something i feel is what people grasp at because they are desperate - not because God or any afterlife actually exists. I am lost.

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Christine. I am so sorry to hear about all your loses. It’s not unusual for people to turn away from God and the church after a death . I know I did when our daughter died. I threw God out of my life for awhile, but he never gave up on me, even when I had given up on him I too have lost many loved ones lately and know how hard it is to readjust to life without them. I feel that there is life after death and my Daughter, Adopted Son, Dad. Sister and Brother are watching over me. The only healing is time. For with time the pain changes and gets duller. You are in my heart, thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and your Mom.
Thank you Katherine. It hurts to be away from God but I just cant right now and I hope he understands. Im sorry to hear about youre losses.. i know you can relate. After a year I thought I would be better but its not really, now its just different. The rest of what left of my family has seemed to move on but Im stuck still crying and lost. Thank you for your letter and support, i know i need to give it time.
Christine
I feel so sorry for heard about your losses. Its really terrible tragedy. You lost your loved ones in just short time and its horrible loss. Death is a painful tragedy and we believe it when loved ones died suddenly. I understand your feelings and its tough time for you.
But we can't do anything against God's power because its all in his hands. You can go to grief counseling for deal with your grief and trying to move on. I know life is so hard without our loved ones.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

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hi, i am so sorry. ive also had so many losses in a short time. it certainly makes me realise how quickly life can suddenly be over. im full of anxiety one minute, and then living life to the full the next minute. im sad. im scared. jan
My dear you have been through hell. So you are writing from Africa? I am currently watching "Blood Diamonds" I have seen it before. I had a bad feeling that when the time turned to 2000 that things would change and for me they did. In 2000, my father in law was diagnosed in september and passed away in one day after his anniversary in November. During this time my grandma was in advanced stage of breast cancer, my dad was diagnosed on his 58th birthday with colon cancer and died one one to the date from his birthday, February 18, 2005. Then I had a bad case of the stupid's and divorced my husband, Bryan after over 12 years of marriage I thought the grass was greener, it's not! So I won't go into the rest but I was never physical unfaithful but emotionally and wanted to run away to California I am in Wisconsin in the States. The though of losing my dad broke my heart and I did not want to be here when he died, I was. Went to California and brought mom back I had no idea that she was so ill. Starting in the end of march through August she was in the hospital each month but they could not figure it out but I guess they knew and i think she did not tell me to spare me but she died and I found her just over two weeks ago. I feel numb and I can look at her picture and I see her but feel nothing and she was my best friend and I loved her so. Its grief!

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